phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
