she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
