Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
