Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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