i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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