You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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