i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
