left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
