i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
