I never want to see another naked old woman again.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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