so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
