I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
