'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize