Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
