3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
...so i touched it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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