apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
