I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
