Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
