At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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