Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
