I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
50% drunk capacity currently
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
