Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
