I just made out with a guy for $7.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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