nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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