i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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