This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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