He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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