Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My dick has a subreddit
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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