I'm going to jail i love you
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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