Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
