i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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