all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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