Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
