You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My feet surprised me
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