Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
