Nicole vs. Life
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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