So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
false alarm, still single
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
