Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
BRING THE BAGELS
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
