Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
