I just made out with a guy for $7.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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