You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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