He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
