i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
