all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
