my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
