from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Actions speak louder than pants.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
