we have officially lost it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
