Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
