Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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