What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I had to cum in my sink.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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