i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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