His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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