we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
