You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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