Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
